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Writer's pictureTrevor Dale

Trevor’s End of Year Essay 2024

Updated: Nov 19


Prologue:

Every year I like to do a reflection on the time past. It is amazing. If you start to catalog your experiences in life, how they culminate into knowledge, lessons and wisdom that you can share with others. Sharing our stories is how we connect and grow as a society, culture, and species. The point of this essay is quite simply to share my stories in experiences with you. My primary motivation, to help my daughter the best I can in navigating the complexities of this life.


There is an undeniable depth of beauty and wonder that permeates every aspect of life, a profound essence that often goes unnoticed amidst the chaos of our daily existence. It is truly perplexing to contemplate why we, as individuals, choose to expend our precious time and energy on feelings of hatred and animosity towards one another. These negative emotions seem to contradict the inherent goodness that resides within us. Yet, it is an unfortunate reality that such sentiments are an inherent part of the human experience, a complex interplay of emotions and behaviors that shape our interactions with the world around us.


The intricate tapestry of human nature is woven with threads of light and darkness, love and hate, compassion and indifference. It is a reflection of the dualities that exist within each of us, a constant struggle between our higher aspirations and our baser instincts. While it may be disheartening to acknowledge the presence of such negative inclinations, it is essential to recognize that they are an integral part of what makes us human.


Moreover, these innate human characteristics are often exploited and amplified by external forces that seek to sow discord and division among us. Whether through political agendas, social constructs, or personal vendettas, there are those who manipulate our vulnerabilities and insecurities for their own gain. By fueling the flames of animosity and prejudice, they perpetuate a cycle of conflict and strife that only serves to further alienate us from one another.


In the face of such challenges, it is crucial to cultivate a sense of empathy, understanding, and unity. By recognizing our shared humanity and embracing the diversity of experiences that define us, we can transcend the barriers of hatred and division. It is through acts of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness that we can begin to unravel the complexities of human nature and forge a path towards a more harmonious existence.


Topics:


  • Ailments and the Wisdom of Getting Older

  • Health

  • Belief

  • Society

  • Politics

  • Sex and Gender

  • Education

  • The Answer to It All


Ailments and Getting Older


As the sands of time slip through the hourglass, our bodies inevitably succumb to the ravages of age. Aches and pains, once distant specters, become unwelcome companions. The once-nimble body grows weary, and the mind, though sharp, begins to falter. Yet, within these physical limitations lies a profound opportunity for introspection and wisdom.


At the time of writing this essay, I am 48 years old. I am starting to notice the developments that only older people define as ailments. Basically, it's things that are starting to break down and can't really be repaired. It's your body's way of saying, "You're getting old."


I'm so old that I've taken a 23andMe DNA test.

I'm so old that I need to pee at least once in the middle of the night.

I'm so old that I literally creak in the morning when I first get out of bed.

I'm so ooo...You get the point.


I will say that with age comes wisdom. The extent of that wisdom largely depends on the life you've lived up to this point. If you've chosen a life that was siloed, you won't have a broad range of wisdom. If your life has been diverse and plural, filled with failures and learning experiences, then you will have wisdom worth sharing. And I'm sure you've noticed that I used the word "choose." I do believe you have choices in your life. The choices you make dictate the life you lead. Sometimes you may feel trapped, but that's just a feeling. You're not actually trapped. There's always an opportunity to make a choice to improve your life. Will that choice lead to excruciating challenges and difficulties? Possibly, even likely. However, every improvement requires a challenge; it's causality at its best.


The trick with having wisdom is getting other people to listen to it. When I was considered "the youth," I didn't listen to the wisdom of my parents. And now that I'm getting closer to the generation of our elders, I'm trying to impart my wisdom on the youth. It's a never-ending cycle of life, but if we don't continue to try to share our knowledge and wisdom with the next generation, no lessons will be learned. We need to keep moving forward in this endeavor of sharing knowledge, even if only a fraction of it is absorbed by the youth who will inherit this world. Something is better than nothing.


There are two types of knowledge transfer or wisdom sharing. One is storytelling, the fables and tales passed down from parent to child. These are subject to adaptation and can be lost to time. Much of it may not be absorbed by the youth or may be misinterpreted. The other type of knowledge sharing is more formalized, in the form of essays, books, scholarly work, and transcribed information. That's why I'm writing this end-of-year essay for my daughter.


It is my desire to openly share my mistakes and my lessons, and hope that you learn from them. Not to avoid making mistakes of your own, but to have a broad depth of knowledge that will help you make better decisions overall. My job as a parent is to keep my kid alive. Tread that razor-thin line between letting them fail to teach them a lesson vs failure that damages that delicate fabric being woven that will be their character.


Health


Our health, a delicate balance, is intricately tied to our lifestyle choices. The food we consume, the beverages we drink, and the activities we engage in, collectively shape our physical and mental well-being. A balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep are the cornerstones of a healthy life. However, it's essential to acknowledge that health is a multifaceted concept, encompassing not only physical health but also mental and emotional well-being.


Other than love, joy, and family, nothing is more important to me than health. To expand further, it means living a lifestyle that allows me to keep up with my kid. This requires a series of constant and consistent choices and behaviors to stave off obesity, high cholesterol, heart disease, and everything else 23andMe warned me about. According to that little report, I have a genetic predisposition for Hashimoto's disease and am doomed to be 6% heavier than the average person. Now, I know I have to be rational. That's not exactly what the 23andMe report said, but that's how I interpreted it. Isn't that just how life is today? It's all about how information is interpreted rather than what it actually says.


One thing I have learned through my years is that nobody on social media is 100% right. They all have some degree of truth based on very narrow parameters. There is no one size fits all for a healthy lifestyle. Our bodies are so incredibly complex if I get too deep in the contemplation of our physical being and how frail we actually are I start to get slightly nauseous. 


One thing I've learned through the years is that nobody on social media has all the answers. While they may offer some degree of truth based on their specific circumstances, there's no one-size-fits-all solution for a healthy lifestyle. Our bodies are incredibly complex, and delving too deep into the intricacies of our physical being can be overwhelming.


Here's what I know:

  • It's Not Just About Calories: While caloric deficit plays a role, it's not the sole determinant of weight loss or overall health. Our bodies' ability to process food and nutrient absorption is equally important.

  • Prioritize Whole Foods: Consuming natural, whole foods like whole grains, lean proteins, vegetables, and fruits is key to a healthy life. Processed foods, high in sugar and unhealthy fats, can hinder your health goals.

  • Moderation, Not Deprivation: Sugar isn't inherently bad. The problem lies in excessive consumption and addiction to highly processed, sugary foods.

  • Focus on Long-Term Health: Instead of short-term diets, focus on sustainable lifestyle changes. Prioritize strength and flexibility training over excessive cardio.

  • Home Workouts Are Effective: You don't need a gym or fancy equipment. Bodyweight exercises like push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and walking can significantly improve your fitness.


Three days a week do as many push-ups as you can. As many sit ups as you can, as many squats as you can and walk 10,000 steps. Combine this with a healthy lifestyle and eating and you will be healthy, Period.


Belief


Belief, a powerful force, has shaped civilizations and driven individuals to extraordinary feats. Throughout history, humanity has sought answers to the ultimate questions of existence. While some have found solace in faith and divine intervention, others have turned to reason and empirical evidence. The beauty of belief lies in its diversity and its ability to inspire hope, compassion, and purpose. However, it is crucial to distinguish between faith-based beliefs and evidence-based knowledge.


The existence of gods is a variance created in the gaps of knowledge. You can't believe in one God once you've learned about thousands. Belief is a cornerstone of all societies, past and present, but it should be a belief in our capabilities, not in deities.


You've come this far, so please stick with me. I believe in belief. Believing is necessary. It's the beginning of motivation, design, intelligence, and inspiration. Everything in our history started with the belief that it could be done. However, religion is a different kind of belief. It has been proven to be a social engineering tool used for control, based on a civilization's needs, knowledge, and understanding. We've evolved beyond the need for historical religions. We're fighting against our evolutionary progress by clinging to these outdated books, stories, and fables.


All gods, in their respective times, had their value. As knowledge increased, their value and place in time diminished. I'm not advocating for a complete re-engineering of society. Churches have tremendous value. Belief, as I've said, is invaluable. I'm simply addressing religions and beliefs in deities that harm the diverse and pluralistic societies of today. The interconnected nature of our existence contradicts the purpose of siloed religious deities, which originated in times when societies were isolated and religious governance was necessary to maintain order. Churches serve as community pillars and offer valuable spaces for gathering, prayer, confession, and guidance. These are all positive aspects.


The problem lies in the literature—the scriptures, instructions, and fables—written in a time far removed from our own. Rules and punishments from that era, if enforced today, would lead to absolute chaos. As Ricky Gervais said, "If you took every single religious book in the world and destroyed them, in a thousand years' time, they wouldn't come back just as they were. Whereas if you took every science book and destroyed them, in a thousand years they'd all be back, because all the same tests would produce the same results."


So, let's stop with the religious texts and just go with believing. Use churches as community centers and places to find respite from the chaos of life. Let us all embrace pluralism, and that we can all believe what we want as long as that belief doesn't harm another. We can all pray for wisdom, for guidance, for whatever we want. But in the end, know that it is our efforts and our choices that define our lives. I believe and I pray. I believe that there is something greater than us out there. An energy. Not a being or a deity or a predetermined path of life. None of that. There is something out there worth thanking for the life I have, for the blessings in my life, and for the opportunity to live this life. - Amen


Society


Society, a complex tapestry woven from the threads of countless individual lives, is a dynamic and ever-evolving entity. It is a delicate balance of power, privilege, and responsibility. As we navigate the complexities of modern society, it is essential to cultivate empathy, tolerance, and understanding. By embracing diversity and challenging the status quo, we can create a more just and equitable world for all.


Our existence isn't a battleground of extremes. It's a delicate dance, a harmony struck in the middle ground. We thrive through compromise, collaboration, and a shared desire to flourish as a species.


However, our world is increasingly divided, with constant noise and distractions vying for our attention. The information age, while offering immense potential, has also become a breeding ground for misinformation, polarization, and social unrest. The constant barrage of sensational news, divisive rhetoric, and targeted advertisements can obscure what truly matters: our interconnectedness and the importance of fostering a society where everyone can thrive.


Despite these challenges, our society is also brimming with opportunities. Technological advancements have the potential to solve some of our most pressing problems, from climate change to disease. Artificial intelligence, renewable energy, and biotechnology offer solutions that were once unimaginable. However, the ethical implications of these technologies must be carefully considered to ensure they benefit humanity as a whole.

As we navigate the complexities of the 21st century, it's crucial to focus on what unites us rather than what divides us. By embracing empathy, understanding, and cooperation, we can build a more just, equitable, and sustainable future.


Politics


Politics, the art of governance, often divides rather than unites. However, it is essential to remember that politics is a means to an end, not an end in itself. By engaging in constructive dialogue and seeking common ground, we can work towards a more harmonious and prosperous future.


When we see the word "politics," we associate it with negativity, hostility, or some form of uselessness. However, politics is simply the art of governing. It's a societal necessity. What's required is for all of us to actively participate in it. Instead of retreating to our ideological corners and spouting negativity at the opposition, we should engage in constructive dialogue and strive to resolve differences.


Currently, the primary goal of politics seems to be winning, rather than finding common ground and compromise. We need to shift the focus back to fighting for purpose, not just fighting to win. Disagreement, debate, and dissent are essential components of a complex, diverse, and pluralistic society. Effective politics is a hallmark of an evolved society. It's more crucial than ever for all of us to become more informed about how our country is governed.


We must separate politics from campaigning and governing. Campaigning is a zero-sum game, where the sole objective is to win. Governing, on the other hand, requires collaboration, compromise, and a focus on the public good.


Governing is the act of exercising authority over a country, organization, or people. It involves making decisions, implementing policies, and enforcing laws to ensure the smooth functioning of a society or institution. Governing bodies, such as governments, corporations, and non-profit organizations, play a crucial role in shaping the course of human history.   

Key aspects of governing include:

  • Leadership: Strong leadership is essential to guide a nation or organization towards its goals. Leaders must make sound decisions, inspire others, and represent the interests of their constituents.   

  • Policy-making: Governments and other governing bodies create and implement policies to address various issues, such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. These policies shape the lives of citizens and influence the overall direction of a society.

  • Law Enforcement: Ensuring law and order is a fundamental function of governance. Law enforcement agencies are responsible for protecting citizens, preventing crime, and enforcing laws.   

  • Economic Management: Governments play a crucial role in managing the economy through fiscal and monetary policies. These policies aim to promote economic growth, create jobs, and maintain price stability.   

  • Social Welfare: Many governments provide social welfare programs to support vulnerable populations, such as the elderly, the poor, and the disabled. These programs help to reduce inequality and improve the overall well-being of society.   


Effective governance is essential for a prosperous and stable society. It requires transparency, accountability, and the participation of citizens in the political process.   

Many of us identify with a political party. While that's important, we also need to evolve our categories. Personally, I'm an issue-based person. I'm probably 51% Democrat and 49% Republican. I guess I should also include a socialist percentage, as I believe in equality when it comes to social services. So, let's say 40% Democrat, 25% Republican, and 35% socialist.


The most important aspect of politics and governance is to listen and absorb information. To truly understand the opposing argument, we must be willing to hear it. I strive to live my life this way every day. It's difficult because we're constantly bombarded with negativity and talking points designed to incite anger, aggravation, and distrust.


There are no easy solutions anymore. Most things are complex and nuanced. This requires constant and consistent effort to stay informed and participate in the governance of our country. More importantly, it helps us make informed decisions when choosing our leaders.

Following in the footsteps of Malcolm Gladwell, we're undoubtedly at a tipping point. We still have representation from the Greatest Generation and Baby Boomers in our highest offices. However, this will soon change as a new generation of leaders emerges. I'm excited to see what the next 50 years will bring and who will guide us.


Sex and Gender


The concepts of sex and gender, often conflated, are distinct yet intertwined. Biological sex, determined by chromosomes and physical characteristics, is a fundamental aspect of human identity. Gender, on the other hand, is a social and cultural construct that encompasses a wide range of identities, expressions, and behaviors. It is essential to recognize and respect the diversity of gender identities and expressions.


I'm personally amazed at how incendiary this topic is. Perhaps it's because I'm already pretty liberal and believe in a pluralistic society where people should be able to express themselves freely, as long as it doesn't harm others. To me, it's pretty straightforward.

  • Male/Female: These terms refer to biological sex, determined by chromosomes (typically XX for females, XY for males) and physical characteristics like reproductive organs.

  • Man/Woman: These are gender identities, which are more complex and can differ from assigned biological sex. They encompass psychological, social, and cultural aspects of being male or female.

Key Points:

  • Biological sex is assigned at birth based on physical characteristics.

  • Gender identity is a personal sense of being a man, woman, or something else.

  • Gender expression is how someone outwardly presents their gender (e.g., clothing, behavior).


It's important to remember that not everyone fits neatly into the categories of "man" or "woman." Gender and sex are separate concepts, and they don't always align. Respecting people's gender identity and expression is crucial.

My uneducated experience has shown me that everything is on a spectrum. Some males are more masculine, while others are more feminine. And the same goes for females. Yes, we are all made of the same basic building blocks, but the ways in which these building blocks are assembled vary widely, which is what creates our unique personalities.


Education


Education, the cornerstone of progress, empowers individuals to reach their full potential. Through education, we acquire knowledge, skills, and critical thinking abilities. It is a lifelong journey that begins at birth and continues throughout our lives. By embracing lifelong learning, we can adapt to the ever-changing world and contribute meaningfully to society.


Education is the key to everything. Unfortunately, our current education system is outdated. We need to overhaul our primary and secondary education systems, and we need to do it now. With a few minor exceptions, my daughter is receiving the same style of education that I did, my parents did, and their parents before them.


Here's what I propose:

  • Primary Education (Pre-K to Grade 3): Focus on building the foundational skills of reading, writing, and arithmetic. Introduce basic science and arts concepts.

  • Foundational Education (Grades 4-8): Build upon the foundational by introducing more complex concepts in reading, writing, and math. Emphasize critical thinking, problem-solving, and creativity. Introduce technology skills, such as typing and computer navigation. Note: I believe it's important to maintain handwriting (cursive too) as a valuable skill, even in our digital age.

  • Secondary Education (Grades 9-12): Offer three distinct tracks:

    1. Standard Track: For students who are still exploring their interests and career paths.

    2. Targeted Track: For students with specific skills or interests who want to pursue vocational training or technical education.

    3. Academic Track: For students who are academically inclined and want to pursue higher education and the careers that require it.

By tailoring education to individual needs and interests, we can better prepare students for the future.


And parents, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to dive in. You're gonna have to get your hands dirty and education starting right now. The way I am getting involved in my daughter's education is by exposing her to different aspects of life. We travel as much as we can, and there's no better classroom than the world itself. 


The Answer to It All


As I am sure, you now know there is no single answer. Everything is granular. Everything exists within a range of possibilities. Everything has variables and variances, potential and limitations. The trick is to understand this. We must avoid thinking in absolutes, ideological silos, or enemy-versus-ally terms. There is no one right way.


Our species has inhabited this planet for over 250,000 years. For the first 245,000 years, we were primarily hunter-gatherers. In the last 200 years, we've experienced an explosive growth that our primitive brains struggle to keep pace with. To evolve with the times requires effort, a willingness to confront challenges, acknowledge our limitations, and pursue continuous learning and growth.


For my daughter, the answer, is you.


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